I’m a scientist. I believe in rational observation, deductive reasoning and cause & effect. So yesterday around lunchtime I was baffled by twinge in my left knee. It ached and was a little painful to contract or extend completely.
That was weird, I thought. I hadn’t banged it, nor had I carried anything heavier than a notebook in memory. I’d played tennis a few days before (which is not unusual). Must’ve just tweaked it, right?
Imagine my dismay later in the day when I got up from my desk to – what’s that? Oh yeah – PAIN. Seriously? What gives?!? I hobbled down the hall – walking stairs was painful. Going back to my Little League Health Manual, I tried to “walk it off”. This was ridiculous – there was no reason for my knee to seize up like this.
It got worse last night. Getting into bed was painful – I couldn’t find a position where it wasn’t throbbing. I caved in and took some anti-inflammatories if for nothing else but to help me sleep. It was just as bad this morning. I had to grit my teeth to put on my shoes. There was nothing that could have caused this…oh wait. Of course. The answer is obvious.
See? I have a lot of ex-girlfriends. Not many of my former relationships ended – errr amicably let’s say. The only answer is that one of them has turned to voodoo to get back at me. Whichever one of you it is: Spurned Born Again Girl, Blue Towel Girl, Pecan Pie Girl, Broken Hand Girl, etc — cut it out! I get it! I want my left knee back!
Because the only other cause could be that I’m just getting old. And we KNOW that’s just crazy-talk.