Vox Hunt: Celebrating National Pecan Day, Ex-girlfriend style

Today is National Pecan Day. To celebrate, show us something nutty.

Last week, I put forth the hypothesis that my unusually aggressive
knee pain was caused by an unhappy ex-girlfriend using a voodoo doll.  You might have noticed that I have assigned my
ex-girlfriends de-personalizing monikers (e.g. Broken Hand Girl, She Who Must
Not Be Named…
) which allows for better storytelling and less introspection on
my part.

So, how could I pass up the opportunity yesterday with the
VoxHunt revolving around pecans to relate the tale of Pecan Pie Girl?

I had kicked off my last year of last year of graduate
school by breaking up with my girlfriend (actually Broken Hand Girl) and
deciding to focus on finishing my dissertation and getting a good post-doc
position.  As things would have it, one
of the 2nd years caught my eye – her name was Erin,
she was cute, she had red hair*, she was quirky and we got along really well.  So we started dating and it was mostly pretty
good.  She was a good cook (especially on
a grad school budget
).  She was a very
good baker, and I particularly liked her chocolate pecan pie.  Our relationship never became serious because we both knew
I was leaving soon.

When I defended and got ready to leave there was an
unexpectedly tearful and emotionally wrought “What are we going to do?” from
her about handling the long-distance thing**. 
Caught off guard, I did what any guy would do, I lied.  I told her we’d figure it out and that
everything would be okay.  Exit stage
north.

We exchanged letters and phone calls fairly regularly (this
was at the dawn of the email age) for a few months, but I became intrigued by Blue Towel Girl
and so decided to fess up to Erin – calling her and telling her the truth –
that I didn’t want a long-distance relationship with her and that I was
starting to date someone else.

Her reply was a terse, “I see” and a phone-click in my ear.

Forward a couple of years and I returned to Chapel Hill for my advisor’s tenure party.  Erin was just
finishing up her degree and I knew she’d be there – but I figured that a couple
of years of water had gone under the bridge.  How much resentment could there be?

Well, I happened to run into her*** right as I was helping
myself to the aforementioned pecan pie – one of which she’d brought to the
party.  She said hello.  I said hello.  I mentioned that it was good to see her and
that I was glad to have a piece of that pie because I’d always liked it.

“I made it just for you,” she said.

Surprised, I thanked her and told her it was great.

She then said “Yeah. I made this so that you would be
reminded just a little bit of all the good things you’ve been missing out on
BECAUSE YOU DUMPED ME!”.

Her mission accomplished, she stalked off and I have never
heard from her again.  I have to admit, that's a pretty good exit.

 

 

* sorry e*c!

** apparently things were more serious than I thought

*** the clarity of
hindsight suggests that this interaction was not purely happenstance.

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23 thoughts on “Vox Hunt: Celebrating National Pecan Day, Ex-girlfriend style

  1. Great exit line. Glad she was only pecan-nutty and not another kind of nutty, or else she might have added some "special ingredients" to the pie just for you.And what a coincidence, I'm talking about pie today too on my blog! (But key-lime, not pecan. That would be just too freaky a coincidence.)

  2. You know, the bad thing was the other day when I brought up Blue Towel Girl in the earlier post, the Beloved said, "Who's Blue Towel Girl and why haven't I heard about her before!" — ack!

  3. Pingback: Little Movie, Big Themes | Steve's Place

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