“Oh good Lord,” she said.
“The Bigfoot Scenic Byway!”
“Really?” she implored.
“The Bigfoot Scenic Byway!”
“The. Bigfoot. Scenic. Byway!”
Such was the conversation between the Beloved and I over breakfast as we charted our return to Eureka after our adventures around Lassen. I mean, we had options, I suppose, but after reading that CA-96 went through the region with the highest concentration of Bigfoot sightings in America? C’mon. And so, by a nearly unanimous verdict, we set out to investigate.
Our route took us north from the town of Yreka along the Shasta river (using CA-263) until we joined the Klamath River and began winding our way back west. As with the previous day, we felt we had the whole country to ourselves — enjoying a stop at The Pioneer Bridge over the Shasta and the resplendent fall colors along the Klamath.
Soon though, the river gorge deepened, and the forest thickened. We could sense that, yes, we were moving into Sasquatch territory.
We kept our eyes peeled ready to capture evidence of our mysterious hominid cousin — and soon we were rewarded with movement by the side of the road! Could it be? Perhaps not, but these Sasgoats seemed pretty ornery. Especially when they figured out we weren’t going to feed them.
We moved on, and while technically we didn’t see any living Sasquatches, we did see them in a couple of the small towns we passed through. In fact, the town of Willow Creek had a Bigfoot Museum! How could you not go in?!
The museum had several pictures and accounts of Sasquatch sightings, but really, the best part was the absolutely batshit crazy old lady behind the counter who during our time there went on about the many legends of the area, including some camera-steals-your-soul Indian stereotypes, and how Sasquatch are hard to spot because they can shift into a THIRD DIMENSION to hide if they want to, and, most importantly, how girls dress like sluts now, not nice like back in her day.
However, she wasn’t the only sign of odd human behavior during our trip. While we were driving, we kept seeing an emblem with two Xs in a circle. Turns out that this is a symbol of The State of Jefferson. A movement to create a 51st state out of the Klamath basin in southern Oregon and northern California based on “Free People, Free Markets, Limited Government”.
The Xs represent the “double-crossing” the area receives from Salem and Sacramento. The movement’s been around since the 1940s but has recently been bolstered by the rise of libertarian populism. In fact, California Governor Jerry Brown was asked earlier this year about the movement and he replied that if folks wanted a state with crackpot right-wing laws, they could always move to Arizona. That made me love Jerry a little.
Of course, the thing that really stuck with me after we returned to San Diego is that I can’t find in any of their material is whether they plan on letting Sasquatch have equal rights and the vote. I bet that could bring them out of that third dimension.